My Time with Uncle Zaphod and everyone else
by sakada
Summary: Cleo joined with her Uncle Zaphod and the rest of the gang go on a zany adventure to save kidnapped Trillian from the heckbent Zaxjo and his apprentice Demly! Chapter 4 is up and I'm working on Chapter 5.
1. The Packing

My time with Uncle Zaphod

The untold story of me, his niece

I paced back and forth, back and forth while my mouths muttering curses. I didn't want to see my Uncle, the one who got me into a mess that I had to fix….

"But dad I don't want to see Uncle Zaphod, he is so lame….."I cringed with utter disgust of remembering his poor attire.

My father merely patted my heads and sat down on his recliner. "Cleo, everything is fine, he is arriving tomorrow and he will…"

I interrupt him. "Will WHAT? He is unfit to be anything. And gawd knows that he is not made to be the President of the Galaxy! What is the Universe coming to? This is simply unfair father!"

"Cleo, you will stay with my brother and you will be perfect tomorrow! Now," he paused and coughed, "excuse me, up to bed and wake up early tomorrow. He'll be here at ten!" Father looked at me and smiled. "I love you sweetheart, and Uncle Zaphod does too. Heck, all of Betelgeuse loves you my little angel, just stay with him for two weeks and you won't see him until the holidays come around."

One of my heads began to nod and the other smiled. I hugged father for the last time, for I have no clue what adventure I was to lead the next day.

I woke up at six, watched Saturday morning cartoons and got ready. My luggage was packed full. Zaphod is and extremely boring being. It's all about him and not about personal safety. Lasers, pocket computer, poisonous stun darts, freeze dried chicken dinners. I was ready for D-Day. Not to mention Uncle Zaphod does not listen.

By 9:45 I was ready. As usual Zaphod was about 20 minutes late. A gigantic ship docked in our landing strip. Was that really the Heart of Gold? Father was right! Zaphod did steal the Heart of Gold! I sighed, this couldn't be happening. Father is permitting me to be onboard with a wanted man. Oh boy, I choked. Father was at work and Mum kissed my foreheads and I was off. A stair case lowered and the ship honked. I could see Uncle Zaphod impatiently smiling. Looking back I saw Mum waving as we took off. That was it.


	2. On the Heart of Gold

Marvin the robot 'greeted' me as I entered onboard the ship. He's probably the most manically depressed object this side of Sirius 9. "Look who we have here, another one. I expect you would like to kick me?"

Both of my heads looked down at the sad little robot. "Well I actually like you; may you take me to Zaphod please?"

The chubby robot glared and mumbled, "Follow me…" I followed Zaphod's companion to the bridge and there stood Uncle Zaphod. I was still unaware of the other presences onboard the ship.

"Oh my dear niece Chloe!" cried Zaphod, trying to make a big scene.

"It's Cleo." I corrected him.

"Hey, kiddo, close enough! Leave your crap here and follow me!" Zaphod wore short shorts and a checkered shirt. I was about to hurl. He ruffled my hair and put the hood of my sweatshirt up to play around.

Around one corner to another we, or I, saw door after hall after picture or randomness. This was my sort of place. Suddenly Zaphod stopped.

"Coolio, stay here and I will call you in." Zaphod hunched over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Just wait here!" I stayed there for 30 minutes.

Inside the room there was a heated discussion over if I should be there or not.

"Zaphod, I thought we were going to get a bite to eat?" Arthur groaned. Arthur Dent was only one of two surviving Earthmen. He is quite odd and wears his bathrobe.

Zaphod spun around in a barstool. "Well Earthman, plans change. My niece is fine. She's not the only unexpected thing here!" He lashed, for he cares about me a lot.

"Dear, it's filthy! Look at this place. The ground is covered in potato skins." Trillian stared into Zaphod's four eyes.

"Well beautiful, have you noticed how the walls are mirrors and how I brighten up the aura of the room?" Zaphod stood up and adjusted his hair.

Trillian stood up also and approached Zaphod. "Children should have a clean environment! Either you pick this mess up or you're sleeping on the couch tonight!" Her cheeks were red hot. Trillian is the other Earth person and is Uncle Zaphod's girlfriend. She is quite smart and has a lot of patience to be with Zaphod.

Uncle Zaphod whimpered and got the vacuum out.

Ford whispered to Arthur, "Are women always like this… I mean were women?" Ford is an odd sort of fellow. He's tall, has orange hair, and doesn't blink much. He is also Arthur's best friend (only best friend) on while on Earth and Zaphod's best friend growing up.

Arthur thought about his first love during his University days and quickly jolted his head and grabbed for his cup of 'tea' for Trillian was eyeing him hotly.

I heard the vacuum stop. Zaphod pressed the door open and invited me in. "This is Cocoa Beeblebrox, my brother's daughter."

"It's Cleo… Hi." I looked around and everything was a reflection of me. There, in the middle of the room was a bar and an 'L' shaped sofa. Sitting on the sofa were Arthur, Ford, and Trillian.

"So is that Zadar's kid?" Ford questioned.

"Nope, Zadan's." Zaphod laughed. "Youngest in the family, first to have kids, first to get married."

Trillian gestured to shake my hand. "Hi, I'm Trillian, how old are you?"

"I'm fifteen," I replied, "and my Dad's 42 if you're wondering. Zaphod is his …"

"Cole, your room is right here," Uncle Zaphod interrupted me, "and here's your things COUGH."

"What was that all about?" Ford looked strangely at Zaphod.

"Nothing." He snapped.

The mirror room became quiet and the party of four left.

I opened a mirrored door to see my bedroom. My bedroom was purple and huge. There were fish tank steps up to a luxurious canopy bed and a big TV with a Q-Sphere game console. My life had just hit a high point.

I unpacked and a voice kept saying, "Hi, what's your name?"

"Cleo, who is this?" I questioned after hearing the question seven previous times.

There was a set of beeps and then the voice started to speak again. "Well hi!

I'm Eddy, the ship's computer!" This so called Eddy seemed very enthusiastic about having a new guest.


	3. The Discussion

Heh, this is chapter 3. yes there is more marvin, not a lot though. He will come up more later on. This isn't really a great chapter but it's kinda funny. have fun reading! comment please! don't flame on me though, be gental

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Douglas Adams characters sigh BUT the non Douglas Adams characters are mine :P HEHE! IT's FUN BEING IMAGINATIVE!

* * *

I walked around.

"Can you see me?" It was brought to my attention that if it can talk it must be able to see.

"If you're worried about me watching you don't fret! I tell where people are by sensory beams! Isn't that swell?" Eddy seemed as bright as day. Just so happy. Eerily a bit to happy.

"Okay, thanks Eddy. That's all." I said a bit dazed.

After a few clicks Eddy began to talk again. "Call me if you need anything!" Then it became silent.

I was done unpacking. Nothing was on TV and I didn't want to play 'Super Maria Sisters' on the q-sphere, so I wondered around.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The Heart of Gold was an odd ship. It runs on improbabilities. It's the only one of its kind. Through this whole encounter we won't need the Improbability Drive. I just felt like telling you that.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Briskly I walked around the mirrored room. Nothing special. Then Marvin peered out of nowhere.

"So you're a Beeblebrox, eh? Another idiot I presume? Will you make me do useless acts which use none of my mental skills? Don't answer that. I already have the answer. Might as well use my enormous brain for something." He sighed. "God I'm so depressed." Marvin droned on.

"Okay, I get you! Yes. I am a Beeblebrox. No I'm quite smart. And I won't be like my Uncle and push you around because that isn't right! SO ARE YOU DONE!"

Marvin just stared, a long dreary stare.

"Yes I could go on but I hate lists, almost as much as I hate life. Life just drags on ever day, forcing me to reboot and serve idiots like Zaphod. I am so miserable. Oh, Zaphod wants you ASAP." Marvin scuffed the ground and trudged off.

My heart wept for the little guy and his insecurity of life. I wondered the halls looking for a sign reading 'BRIDGE'. About three minutes later I found the sign on a trash bin. Okay, I thought. I arrived at the bridge and there stood Zaphod and Arthur debating whether to go to the mall or not to get clothes. Zaphod called me in.

"Kevin! I see you got my message! Want to go shopping?" There went Uncle Zaphod with the over dramatizing my entrance again.

I rolled my eyes. "You're a wanted felon. The Glactapolice are all over you. Any move you make could be OUR last!"

"Kiddo, lemme get this straight. You're worried about our safety? Come on doll, this is the place I get my digs and it's only about five million light-years away. They no me there. It'll be fine." Zaphod made puppy eyes.

In the back I could see Arthur waving his hands and mouthing, "NO, don't say YES!"

Like a moron I said, "Sure, why not…"

Arthur and I walked out together.

"For ZARKING sakes Cleo, Zaphod is an idiot. You and I both know it. But you are his niece and you do know him better then I do, so, never mind… By the way do you have any tea?" From then on I thought of him as an idiot too.

I went to my room to reflect on everything. I bit on my hood strings and watched the planets pass and drifted to sleep.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

We arrived at the clothing outlet at around noon the next day. Though there aren't really any days in space or space travel. The store was called 'Anips' and was on the planet Netron L Delta. In my copy of _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Deluxe Teen Edition_ it said this

_Netron L Delta_

_A small hilly different little planet with a groovy past. Singers like Printz and the Zacton 5 started their radical careers there. It is always time to dance on Netron L Delta with its many go-go clubs and hip-hop bars. Peace out dudes!_

Trillian and I looked at eachother with fear. This place was creepy!


	4. Zaxjo of Bibeobrighog

this is a funnyish chapter teehee, please read and don't flame but i LOVE comments! chapter 5 will be up soon

**disclaimer:** Douglas Adams characters are his mine are mine! I LOVE HAVING AN IMAGINATION!

* * *

Zaxjo of Bibeobrighog was the leader of the Biberian Galaxy. He was fit and had only one head. His brown choppy hair seemed as unusual as his thoughts. In the publics eye he was a great leader, yet a very obsessive one. But the people of the Biberian Galaxy didn't care.

Zaxjo was also Zaphod's roommate in collage. The truth is Zaxjo hated Zaphod. Zaxjo hated Zaphod a lot. You may even think that Zaxjo hated Zaphod so much he was willing to do damn well anything to kill him.

It all started during their sophomore year in collage. Zaphod got drunk one day and burned the dorm down while Ford 'talked' to Zaxjo's girlfriend about Zaxjo's obsession. .

You see Zaxjo was and still a genius. You may even say any evil genius. But not back then. Since the age of four he wondered, pondered what the meaning of life was. In his dorm laid his eighteen years of dedicated work, for it now laid as a pile of ashes. Zaxjo didn't find out anything until the next day. It turned out he was with Ford's girlfriend that night. But when he found out he became hell-bent on killing Zaphod. And it would be the day at Anips that he would execute his plan.

Three months before the day of the execution of his plan

Three months ago Zaxjo was bored. He took Zaphod's inaugural picture and threw darts at his heads. It was going to be twenty years to the day in three months when Zaphod ruined his life. He also knew that Zaphod had the answer to life in his heads so his plan was to cut them off and examine his brains. Just how? He called his wingman Demly.

Demly Jones was more of a plan checker. He is a reasonably a bit younger then Zaxjo and sports a small goatee. And while not hanging around Zaxjo he's quite the lady's man, sweet, delightful, and rather fetching. He was always by Zaxjo's side and helped with his numerous plots. They way Demly helped was because he was physic. From day one he predicted if Zaxjo's plans wouldn't work and he was always about 75 right. The other 25 of the time he just got sick of answering and said, "I don't give a zarking deal about it." But this day was different

"Demly?" Zaxjo sipped at his Janx Spirit. "Ya know why I called you here?"

Demly sighed then his powers told him something. He nodded a yes.

"Will my new plan work?" Zaxjo just crossed his legs (he had only two) and eyed his young friend

Demly stared at him.

"SO?" Zaxjo hated emphasis and dramatic pauses.

"Yes."

Demly stood there casually and stared at him. Just kept staring. This was a first time for a 'yes' and damn well time. Zaxjo just stood up and gasped for air.

"How did you...?" Zaxjo paused.

"I wonder?" He sighed sarcastically. "I just know it is right. Just wait three months then I will fill in the question of where." Demly left and grabbed his personal phone.

"Hey babe, I feel like celebrating." Demly's voice trailed on.

Zaxjo still stood there in front of his desk collecting his thoughts, mostly devilish/harmful ones. Of course they didn't know I was going to be with Zaphod.

* * *

I wonder what will happen next! keep being hoopy!-sakada 


End file.
